Village Parkdays 12:00 pm – 4pm (or sundown)

Upcoming Events
Aug 13 - Venia's Vacation: Belarusse, Vienna, and..

Aug - 6 Topanga Beach Day (boogie boards and sandcastles)

July 30 - Summer Parkday

July 23 - Leather Stamping

July 16 - Ancient Rome

July 9 - Japan Past & Present

July 2 - Independence & H2O

June 25 Beach Day

June 18 Tenzi Frenzi

June 11 - Juggling Craft and Fun

June 4 - Stokes Theater & Plays

May 28 - Christina's Family Yogatime

May 21 - Bring your crafty projects & Potluck

May 14- Career Day

May 7 - Mother's Day Tea

April 30 - Art Show & Painting

Apr 23 - Earthday Show & Tell and Planting

Apr16 - 19 Joshua Tree Annual Family Campout

Apr 9 - HexiFlexigons - rescheduled

Apr 2 - Magic Tricks & Juggling Sticks

Mar 26 - HexiFlexigons - Geometry Gone Wild

Mar 19 - Potluck & Nat Amer Kid Presentations

Mar 12 - Nat Amer 2: Plains & Tipi's

Mar 5 - Native American 1: Inuit & Carving

Feb 28 - The Art of Debate

Feb 19 - Potluck & Chinese New Year & Korean, Vietnamese

Feb 12 - Valentyne's Day exchange

Feb 5 - Favorite Books

Jan 29 - Build an African Kalimba

Jan 22 - Patents and Inventors

Jan 15 Potluck, Patents and Inventors

Jan 8 - Boardgames and Beginnings

Jan 1st New Year's Playday

Dec 25 Merry Christmas No Parkday

Dec 18 Kwanza; Hannukah; Xmas; Solstice Celebration & Lunch Potluck

Dec 15 Caroling at Retirement Homes

Dec 11 Holiday Craft Day

Dec 4 Idioms by Maria Wheee!

Nov 27 Happy Thanksgiving No Parkday

Nov 20 Venezuela by Enrique & Potluck

Nov 13 Science Bloopers

Nov 6 Inside a Courtroom

Nov 4 Take your Kid to Vote

Oct 30 Costume Halloween Party

Oct 23 Bring a Poem

Oct 19 Campfire Potluck &Talent Show

Oct 16 Poetry Play Day & Potluck

Oct 9 Save Big Cats & Habitats

Oct 2 Making & Launching Rockets

Sept 28 Watts Tower Drumming Festival 10-4pm

Sept 25 Basket Weaving with NewsPaper

Sept 18 M&B Family Campout @ Sequoia Nat'l Park (No parkday)

Sept 11 OuterSpace Aeronautics or
Sustainable Farming & Husbandry (if cool enough for goats to visit)

Sep 10 M&B Free @ LA County Fair

Sep 2 Amazing Aeronautics

Aug 28 Beach Day

Aug 21 Pioneer Day

Aug 14 Five Year M&B Anniversary

Aug 7 Solar Ovens Part III

Jul 31 Solar Ovens Part II

Jul 24 Solar Ovens Part I @ Beach

Jul 17 Balloon Fun/Physics

Jul 10 Blind as a Bat (Braille & Sonar)

Jul 3rd (No Parkday Independence)

Jun 26 Tal Family

Jun 19 Kinetic Ball Run & Squirt bottle motion & Potluck

Jun 12 Summer Festival & Games

Jun 11 Full Moon Hike

Jun 5 Let's Get Tiny - Cells (Animal & Plant)

May 29 Lets get tiny - Cells (Animal & Plant)

May 22 Famous People

May 15 Beach Day & Potluck

May 8 Celebrating Mothers

May 1 Secrets of Water

Apr 24 Earthday & Planting

Apr 17 Games & Crafts Bring Your OWN

Apr 10 Nat'l Poetry Month

Apr 3 Cotton Magic

Mar 27 Bacteria Fun

Mar 20 Potluck & Organ Day!

Mar14-16 Joshua Tree Annual Spring Family Campout

Mar 13 - No Theme due to weekend Campout

Mar 6- Birdwatching & Nesting Day

Feb 27 - Physics of Bowling due to Rain

Feb 20 - The Winter Olympics

Feb 14-17 Backyard Bird Count

Feb 13 - VOLUNTEER PLEASE. Valentines Day

Feb 6 - Taxonomy & the Darwin Challenge

Jan 30 - Lunar New Year of the Horse

Jan 23 - Simple Machines II - Pulleys & Levers

Jan 16 - Habitats & Keystone Species & Noon Potluck

Jan 9 - Cogs & Cams: Simple Machines

Jan 2 - Reconnecting after holidays & New Year's Celebrations

Dec 26 - No Parkday Happy Holidays

Dec 19 - Celebrate Holidays: Winter Solstice, Kwanza, Christmas & Hanukkah

Dec 12 - Solar Fun & Mask Making with Michelle

Dec 5 - Monarch Magic & Eucalyptus

Nov 28 - Happy Thanksgiving - No Parkday

Nov 23 - Fieldtrip to Monarch Groves in Goleta

Nov 21 - Monarchs & Eucalyptus Trees postponed

Nov 14 - Atoms, Protons, Electrons, Oh My!

Nov 7 - Autumn Leaves & Sewing with Heather

Oct 31 - Halloween Festival

Oct 24 - Spooky SeeSaw Algebra

Oct 17 - 3 City Geography & Int'l Potluck & 6:00pm Talent Show

Oct 10 - 2nd M&B Bug Faire

Oct 3 - Abacus Math Magic

Sept 26 - Bark Painting & Spirit Animals

Sep 19-23 Annual Sequoia Family Campout

Sep 14 Fieldtrip to Point Vicente

Sep 12 - Lighthouses & Prisms II

Sep 5 - Build Splash Toys @ Pool

Aug 29 - Lighthouses & Light I

Aug 22 - DeSalination @ Beach PD

Aug 15 - Weaving yarn or old clothes

Aug 8 - Hula Hoop II

Aug 1 - Hula Hoop I @ Beach A

Jul 25 - M&B's 4th Anniversary
All ages Talent Show

Jul 18 - Hawaii Day & Potluck

Jul 11 - Bubble Science Fun

July 4 No Parkday HOLIDAY

Jun 27 No Parkday HOLIDAY

Jun 20 - Crafts Free for All

Jun 13 - Gold Mining & BoomTowns

Jun 6 - Anyone? Or Lemonade Stands

May 31-Jun 2 Family Campout at Montano De Oro

May 30 - MayDay PlayDay II

May 23 - MayDay PlayDay

May 16 - Bats, Owl Pellets & Potluck

May 9 - Primitive Arts & Indian Trading Blanket

May 2 - Painting & Poems

Apr 25- Help Our Wildlife Thrive

Apr 18 - M&B Earthday & Potluck 5pm

Apr 11 - Missouri Day / Bees Part 2
HoneyLove.org

Apr 4 - Bees ($3/kid for candlemaking)
Ula's Birthday

Mar 28 - Feathers, Microscopes & Origami Cranes

Mar 21 - History of Sugar; Plant own sugarcane

Mar 14 - Robots & Circuitry $3/kid

Mar 7 - Rainy Day @ Skirball Free

Feb 28 - Felting & Fiber Arts

Feb 21 - Morocco II
and Islamic Prayer

Feb 14 Valentines & Asian New Year Traditions

Feb 7 - Huichol Yarn Paintings
& Esme's Bday

Jan 31 - Birth of a Nation

Jan 24 - Cancelled
due to RAIN

Jan 17 - Craft parkday

Jan 15 - USA Tour @ Skirball

Jan 10- Morocco Senses & Allah

Jan 3 - Free for All Playday

Dec 27 - Free For All Playday

Dec 20 - Xmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Divali & Winter Solstice (Carols & Potluck)

Dec 13 - Morocco, Art & Mint Tea

Dec 6 - Pompeii Part II & Archeology

Nov 29 - Let's BOWL
due to Rain

Nov 22 - Thanksgiving - No Parkday

Nov 15 - Duct Tape Crafts & creations by C & C
and Lunch Potluck

Nov 8 - Ancient Pompeii & Mt Vesuvius

Nov 1 - Election & Voting Debate:
More trees or Waterslide

Oct 25 - Trunk or Treat; Dress-up
Halloween

Oct 18 - Peace Building &
Anger drop

Oct 11 - Superhero Rain

Oct 4 - Inks from Nature

Sep 27 Ireland Fun & Culture

Sep 20 -Sequoia-sized Boardgames

Sep 13 - 3rd Sequoia Campout

Sep 6- Heroes and Heroines - Kids Presentations

Aug 30 - Simile, Metaphors & Figures of Speech

Aug 23- Letterboxing II

Aug 16 - Letterboxing I

Aug 9 - Beach Day

Aug 2 - Modern Olympics II

July 26 - Ancient Olympics I

July 19 - Paper Arts: Bowls, Books & Beads

July 12 - Beach Day

July 5 - Statue of Liberty - 4th July

June 28 - Storytelling & Aussie Rainsticks

June 21 - Fun Games Field day

June 14 - Mystery Math = Algebra Fun

June 7- Silly Summer Day Fun

May 31 - Build Miniature Golf

May 24 - Sewing & Haiku Part II

May 17 - Haikus & Drums & Evening Potluck

May 10 - Rock Hunter Guest Speakers

May 3 - May Day Celebrations

Apr 26 - Fibonacci & Nature

Apr 19 - Thai New Year -Songkran & Potluck

April 12 - Spring Bling & Night Crawlers Planting season

April 5- Easter /Passover Crafts

Mar 29 - Ethics & Fairytales

Mar 22 - Detective Fingerprints & Crafts

Mar 15 - Prep for Joshua Tree

Mar 8 - Marbles & Physics

Mar 1 - Make Real Dream Catchers

Feb 23 - Pirates, Sea Captains &Tall Ships

Feb 16 - Wilderness Survival - guest Speaker

Feb 9 - Anatomy Guts vs Feeling Guts

Feb 2- Gravity Fun Games

Jan 26 - Cement Bridges Part Two

Jan 19 - Kids first Rock & Gem Show

Jan 12 - Global New Years Celebration

Jan 5 - Rockets-Aquarius M&B helped launch

Dec 29 - Cement Construction hand print tile

Dec 22- Kwanza, Hannukah, Bodhi Day stories & games 12/8

Dec 15 - Amy's Anatomy Obstacle Course

Dec 8 - Painting so it POPS! w/ out wind

Dec 1 - Painting so it POPS!

Nov 24 - Happy Thanksgiving - No M&B Parkday

Nov 17 - Fun with Manners & Empowering Etiquette & And 3rd Thurs Potluck (lunchtime)!

Nov 10 - History of Photography - Make Pinhole Cameras

Nov 3 - Butterfly & Bug Faire & Poems & Riddles

Oct 27 - Pumpkin Festival *Dress UP!!

Oct 20 - Empathy & Empowerment

Oct 13 - Braille & Visually Impaired

Oct 6- Atoms & Cool Molecules

Sept 29- Black Bears & Sequoias

Sept 22 - Sequoia Fires & Cones

Sept 15- Clay Creatures & Open-ended ?s

Sept 8- Beat the Heat Beach Day

Sept 1 - Lemonade Stand Commerce

Aug 25 - Back to Homeschool Play

Aug 18 - Saw Safely & make a Jacob's Ladder

Aug 11 - Biomes, Habitats & Soda Bottle Terrarium

Aug 4 - M&B 2Year Anniversary Party

July 28 - Finger Knitting & Natural Fibers

July 21 - Stone Soup Potluck & Storytime

July 14 - CrazyFun ScienceLab Experiments

July 7 - Independence Day Celebration @ Zuma Beach

June 30 - Nocturnal Creatures & Owl Pellets to dissect

June 23 - Book Exchange Circus

June 16 - Lewis & Clark, Quill pens from feathers & Potluck

June 9 ATC- Making Artists' Trading Cards

June 2 Petraglyphs, Pictoglyphs & Rafting the Grand Canyon

May 26 Historical
Figures that changed the World
all Kids Perform

May 19 Pharoahs, Pyramids & Crafts
And Potluck 5pm-sundown

May 12
Mars & Space Travel

May 5
Mother's Day
High Tea

Apr 28
Physics & Imagination=
Future Travel

Apr 21
Mask Making & Storytelling

Apr 14
Sound Waves

Apr 7
Geodesic Dome

Mar 31
Earthquakes & Tectonics

Mar 24
Show & Tell & Games

Mar 17
Family Campout Joshua Tree

Mar 10
Mardi Gras

Mar 3
Africa & Wangari Maathai

Feb 24
Brains: the Inside Story

Feb 3
Chinese New Year

Jan 27
Pioneer Parkday Part 2

Jan 20
Days of Yore

Jan 13
Fun & Safety
with Germs

Jan 6
Chess by Jahan

Dec 31
New Year's FreePlay

Dec 23
Kwanza, Hannukah
& Christmas

Dec 16
Engines & Cars
& Alternative Power

Dec 9
Microscopic World

Dec 2
Cartoon & Collage

Nov 25th
Thanksgiving Holiday

Nov 18th
Nature Crafts & Yoga

Nov 11th
Wind Turbines

Nov 4th
Indian Diwali Celebration

Oct 28th
Spooky Obstacle Course

Oct 21st
How Songs are Born

Oct 14th
Build a
Weather Station

Oct 7th
Prisms, Vision & Zoetropes

Sept 30th
Spanish CultureFest

Sept 23rd
Russian Culture & Potluck

Sept 17
Family Campout @ Sequoia Nat'l Park

Sept 9th
Chemical (molecular) Reactions

Sept 2nd
History of Flight

August 26th
Light, Refraction & Rainbows

Aug 19
Potluck

August 12
Turtles, Tortoises & YOU

August 5th
Honey, Bees & Wasps

July 29th
M&B 1 year anniversary

July 22
Inuit Culture & Games

July 15th
Bastille Day - French Independence

June 17th
Swedish MidSummerFest

June 10th
Catapults & Parachutes
Gravity & Lift

June 3rd
Our BodyGuards
Snot & Scabs

May 27th
Pollination, Fruit & Seeds

May 20th
Hawaii & Potluck Luau!

May 13
Ladybugs, Silkworms & Praying Mantis

May 6th
Knots, Pirates & Explorers

April 29
Earth Day Part 2

April 22
40th anniversary of Earth Day

April 15th
Japanese Girls' & Boy's Day

April 8th
Bridges, Cantilevers & Treehouses

April 1st
Magnetism part II: Physical Force of Nature

March 25
Magnetism part I: I'm attracted!

March 18th
Desert Life

March 11th
Global Timelines

March 4th
Spring Bling:
Worms, Dirt & Seeds

The Magic of Fire & Sequoia Trees 9/22

** Bring a PINECONE to show, identify & craft.**

In preparation for Mudpies &Butterflies’ semi-annual Family Campout to Sequoia National Park, I will share how these magical giant trees reproduce – and how it differs from other Coniferous trees.  It takes blazing fires, a perfect topsoil and protected forests to ensure a new Sequoia gets a start towards becoming one of the IMG_8512largest trees in the world (by mass).  Due to the brilliant architecture of each Sequoia, the older trees are almost completely impervious to forest fire damage.  2010 M&B photos illustrate the fun & wonder.  Forest in the Fall and Desert in the Spring.  Check our family campouts in Joshua Tree Nat’l Park in 2009 and 2010.IMG_8607

IMG_8635Legend of the Silver Pinecone.IMG_8505IMG_8540IMG_8510IMG_8513IMG_8482IMG_8585IMG_8563IMG_8558

handling lifestyle anger from strangers

Many of us gain strength, awareness and a sense of normalcy from online chatgroups whose members share similar lifestyle choices:  extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, homeschooling, home-birthing, adoption, IVF, special needs, and so much more.  Today on one such chatgroup I helped start, I took the time to respond to a Mom’s frustration at dealing with negative responses to her family’s Attachment Parenting.  It turned into a beneficial blog for my readers.  I invite you to add comments and feedback at the end.

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First off – YOU ROCK!  Your kids look so loved, so loving and secure in themselves.  I just flipped thru your blog wondering why you might be a target for other people’s baggage. Personally butting up against a majorly racist and homophobic environment for 25 years, I feel compassion for anyone who is making my world better with love.

IMG_7387I grew up in NC and had my first child there (homebirth).  On top of the wealth of small-mindedness interactions I had there, I never once saw anyone breastfeed in public.  So, once a week I would go to the poshest mall and nurse in public and did it whenever/wherever my child was hungry. I felt people needed to see it.  Eventually someone in their life would be doing it (optimistic) and if I was the one they saw first, maybe their loved one or relative wouldn’t receive all their confused feelings because they had the chance to process it the first time by witnessing me.

One time, I even nursed my infant in a boardroom filled with top-level executives like CEO/founder of Bank of America, CEO of Wachovia Bank & the President of Duke Electrical Co.   ALl of which next witnessed me giving a large presentation whilst walking around with a child quietly sleeping in my stylish maya wrap.  These decision makers from the top need to witness business-savvy moms (and dads) performing in tandem with their children.  How else will they fund on-site daycare or sign-off on 0-9 month infant in-office policies?

It took a while for my family of origins to get the normalcy of breastfeeding.  They believe in “flying under the radar,” whereas, I believe in “being the change you want to see in the world.”  Because I was calm and persistent, they eventually processed how natural and healthy it was.  And like I hoped, one day, they were far more relaxed when they witnessed anyone else nursing.  They even make a point to tell me on our cross-country phone calls, if they saw someone nursing in NC.  Progress.

Even if the initial interaction feels confrontational, I believe people are processing information, but on their timetable.  On days where I don’t have the reserves or when my kids are extra-sensitive, I realize that I might not be able to be engaged without being triggered. Or I discuss one topic and don’t let them go down the list of all my AP choices until we really, strongly clash.  And some people just want to vent.  So, I give myself permission to pass on the opportunity to fully engage.

On a base level, AP parenting is blissful, because it affords us the luxury to act, live & breath in accordance to our deepest maternal (or paternal) instincts. But it comes at a price for it is not the group norm in the USA.  And yet, many people’s psyches & bodies are still in conflict over going against their instincts.  Many AP’ers unknowingly become a target for that angst.  I am willing to take some of that on, but only because I know they are working something out.  At those moments of tension I recognize this internally, and BREATH and relax my body (for me as much as for them).  And I pepper the conversation with positive comments about how much they care for their child.  So, I’m actively changing the landscape from debate mode, where it is all positive or negative, to a conversational rhythm by introducing friendship overtures.  On many levels, this can reassure someone that I am not going to attack them.  I also make an effort, to share examples that are always about my kids and not children or families in general.  Otherwise you can leave yourself wide open to their misdirected energy.

Sometimes I have brought that tension to the light and asked calmly, “Is it hard for you to hear about my family’s choices?”  It is amazing to watch the ripple effect of that one sentence.  Some people don’t even know why they are so bothered.  Some check themselves.  And others continue with out even hearing what I said, which tells me it might be wise to disengage.

When their line of questioning turns to, “Aren’t you afraid they won’t …” or, “What about when…,” I commend them for caring so much about my kids.  That is a sure sign that they are projecting concerns they have with other family members or friends they have not attempted to voice with them.  But I am a stranger; and risking my ire is a practice-run for when they approach their sister, cousin or best friend.  If there is venom, that means the logic of AP lifestyles are circulating closer to them then we might realize.  That is a good sign that awareness is looming and emotions are holding them back.

I recently entered a long discussion with someone over family rule my husband instated: that we were not to use sarcastic language in our home. (This was initially a tough one for me, for in my family of origins, well-wielded sarcasm earned me verbally acknowledged esteem). While this relative debated the potential damage of protecting our children in an unrealistic bubble, he proved our point along the way – that sarcasm oftentimes brings out the mean-base nature of many people.  Most of his personal examples from his childhood had caused him and/or others emotional harm.  Through literature and life, my children have (and will) experience sarcasm.  But I am happy to say that our home is a safe place where our children need not be “on guard” mentally and verbally and can trust that their inner-self is accepted and will not be tested.

IMG_7388All of this natural, instinct-driven attachment parenting led my family gently through the gates of homeschooling. When people ask me how long I have been homeschooling, I don’t have a quantitative answer. I simply state that our lives never changed.  We didn’t shift schedules or lifestyles to enter mainstream school.  So we have no start date.

In discussing homeschooling with strangers, I am also careful not to answer ambiguous questions, but help them get to a more specific query.  This also helps me discern how interested they are and can rule out those looking to debate.  A common intro question I often hear is, “What is homeschooling like?” This warrants, “What about it interests you?”  And I always share that it has to work for the entire family.  If it doesn’t, I don’t want to model martyrdom or create unrest as that doesn’t foster a healthy, happy upbringing. This gives people a chance to see I’m not judging them at all.  Regardless if you are devoid of judgement, many will still project that onto you.  You do not need to prove to them you aren’t judgmental, but by using personal experiences, people won’t feel the sting of falling into a generalization.

Discussions like this allow me to re-evaluate if what I am doing is still in line with what is best for my kids, not just my thoughts and needs.  And this ethical disconnect with some, makes me appreciate my like-minded friends and family all the more.  In their audience, I can vent about recent altercations with family, neighbors and even friends.  But more importantly, I can freely relive the bliss of waking up to my sleeping cuddly kids, or share stories of overhearing my 4 year-old tell a playmate how great it will be when “my baby comes out of my vagina,”  or relive recent milestones like when my 7 year-old fell in love with something she read herself.

You are not alone.  I support you and wish you breath and calm in those moments when people don’t allow you the same grace you offer them -  to parent and believe in their ability to rear happy, competent, loving beings who will sooner than later take command of their own lives.  I choose to be provocative in sharing my family’s happiness because I want that for everyone and there is no good reason for me to keep it to myself.

Jessica Deltac

Animal Morphing with Clay 9/15

cat mermaidKids will be inventing their own creatures by combining two animals (or more) into one.  By morphing the top half of a cat with the tail of a fish – Voila a new species.  They will sculpt them, name them and who knows what else.  ALL the clay is being donated by Victoria (big M&B thank you!) Of course if any one parent or child wants to do something else with the clay – that always receives a thumbs up @ Mudpies & Butterflies!  Self-expression is key – as is Confidence.  Which is where this next request comes from…

Can we only practice open-ended questions around the clay play?

IMG_5828What happens when kids draw or paint?  Oftentimes, parents, teachers, or elders say – “What is that?”  Due to past experiences for the child, I witness the energy shift and a struggle begin with in the child.  Bodies slump; they take deep, preparing breaths; and sometimes art supplies drop from their hands.  They are pulled out of “being in the art”to fulfill someone else’s need.   Who has witnessed a child’s frustration when a well-intentioned comment about what they have drawn doesn’t match at all to what they were creating.   Have you also ever noticed, that when kids are working in proximity to each other, they OBSERVE each others work, and usually wait for the actual artist/owner to speak about their piece before offering any comments.  Most young kids are intuitively aware that the journey as well as the end product belong to the person who is creating.  Hmmm…

IMG_7339Are our inquiries stifling the creative juices flowing through their hands holding crayons, pencils, or paint brushes?  And why does the art piece have to be something? The stimulation of the process is the main event for these early years: the bumps on the paper, the firmness of the tool in their hands, the way pigment thins as it is smeared across the page. All these “mini-experiments” are impacting their brains along with the smell of the room, the rumble in their belly, and the light casting shadows.   And if the artistic idea they started with isn’t spoken aloud, a child will confidently, freely, let it morph into something else.  Or maybe the magical journey of blurring colors into oblivion or the intense release of rubbing a crayon to a nub becomes so uplifting, the initial image is unwittingly IMG_5309sacrificed.  We parents, waiting in the wings for evidence of burgeoning Picassos, may be coveting that initial image too greatly.  With emphasis on genius, we could be preventing a more natural education of their world from developing.

In my mind, clay is powerful in the World of Art for Children.  It reeks of PLAY, not expectations.  Children (and adults) who mistrust the looming liberty of 2-dimensional art, are willing to give this crazy, squooshy mud a chance.  Even if a child has tightened their expected reign of reality in drawing or painting, a child might explore imaginatively with clay.  And did you know that by working with a piece of clay in your hands and not on a table, helps us readily pull a shape out of the lump instead of attaching pieces to it.  This calls upon more organic deductive reasoning, similar to how we find shapes in clouds.  This is minimizes frustration and maximizes creativity.  Clay can be pinched in here and smoothed over there, allowing their imagination and experiential knowledge to wish the artwork into existence.

IMG_7310To inhibit critique and foster maximum creativity, I am asking everyone (including myself) to practice open-ended inquiries with each other during CLAY play.  (This can be done with drawing and painting as well.)  The idea, is that through active listening to thoughts and ideas, our children will feel that their unique perceptions and ideas are worthy.  But to do this , we have to convince them we will patiently listen to whatever they choose to share.  You can do this with an open-ended question that invites them to share and respectfully await their response.  Not responding isn’t necessarily a cue to repeat the question louder, but a opportunity to witness your child deeply engrossed “in the art.” As you wait, you can just breath and watch or grab your own clump of clay and work beside them.

IMG_7329A good question to start with is, What is happening now? This might seem uncomfortable if you don’t often find yourself asking your children for updates.  Adults are used to naming things, identifying and communicating what we see to our kids.  But phrases that encourage more than a single word response, tell the other person “I really want to hear YOUR answer.”  This communicates that we are prepared to wait as long as they need to respond.  Another good line is, I would love to know how did you do that? Yes, you probably know how they did it, but we aren’t listening for the specific answer, but opening their gates of creativity.  We are empowering them to feel content with their expression.IMG_3863

Some of  you may recognize that your kid doesn’t have a problem opening up and instead tells you EVERYTHING.  That is great!  Bu there will be a time when this free sharing of thoughts and questions will end. Usually because they think you don’t listen enough or they think they or their peers know more than you do.  And as pre-teens or teens in a world filled with dangerous temptations, you will wish they would tell you everything again.  Honing this skill now, is exactly how you will bridge those years.  Here is your chance to build a foundation that you can both tap into down the road, because they will know the difference between you patiently listening versus just going through the motions.

IMG_7317With follow up question like, Can you tell me more about it? and their delight in sharing freely with you lets you know that you are on the right track.   And then, all of sudden, you are tempted to correct the way they made something.  Don’t point it out.  Instead focus on their body language and how they are feeling.  If they are building an animal ask, IMG_1573 What would it be like to ride a creature like that? Help them conjure their feelings or experiences.   Or, What would it feel like to pet that animal?Or if it was a place, What would happen if we traveled there? This may bring their attention to a detail they haven’t gotten too before or maybe not.  Paintings and sculpture, hold less internal restrictions if children are tapping into their past experiences and perceptions of how the world works and not by surfing our expectations of what the final product should look like.

If playing with art supplies (or sports) ends up with us feeling empty, misunderstood or lacking, why try anything new?  My goal with this activity is to help M&B kids to feel that their voice and perceptions are appreciated by parents, peers, friends and society.  And as their caregivers, we represent the world who believe that art (and life) is not a world of right and wrong, but can open up wide to respectfully hold many things in between.    And even if the piece of art doesn’t end up fully-realized to match their image in their head, the experience of thinking about it, manipulating it, and sharing can hold positive feelings for us all.

Amaya

Recipes for two types of reusable play clay.  And 50 questions to spark fun & communication!